lame...

hm.. so long nvr update my blog dy..
Its saturday.. all my frens are in Kl.. they're not coming back this week. sighh.. im freaking bored here.. Well.. guess this weekend i'll be isolated...all the time at home. My mobile phone is so quiet.. it didnt ring at all for the whole day.. sighh.. Wish i could turn back the time.. missing all those moments.. hm.. i feel like transfer college.. dont feel like studying in malacca.. well,thats all for today folks. i got ntg to write dy. jz waiting here for my mobile phone to ring........ Miss my friendss... wish u gurls were here.

FooTpRintS??

well... its sunday...2.09am.. All my frens will back to KL again... gonna miss them.. Haizz.. vickie and leen got conflict lerr.. they never really talk to each other.. might be a misunderstood problem kua.. i'm the orang tengah.. i dont know which to believe.. Hmm.. well.. the best is..advise them.. now im trying to get them back again.. goshh.. its not easy have a friend..,but its easy to have enemy.. enemies. sighh.. leen's acting so cool.. while vickie..she's so stubborn.. How am i suppose to get them back again? i did tried my very best.. i gave tones of advises to vickie.. n i had talk to leen.. n i even purposely drove out.. to hang out.. just 3 of us.. me..vkie..leen.. but.. err.. i guess.. there's a lil improvement.. better than last night(friday)..,its even worst.. goshh.. vkie cried in front of me.. i felt.. haiiz.. Actually their conflict is just a small lil tiny matter..it happened in KL.. Leen told me..vkie ignored her..n leen did fon n msg vkie..to ajak for dinner..but seems tht vkie..give reasons n avoiding.. While from wat i heard from vkie.. Vkie said.. leen forget about her already.. n nvr even go dinner together.. n leen hurts vkie..thru words.. n etc. goshh. complicated??! well..? dunno la. Hmm.. just follow the flow.. n everythg will be fine soon.
...Hmm.. that day jaime went for a movie with quok wei..He holds jaime hands.. hehe jaime is freakin' happie.. haha.. guess..he luv jaime.. erm.. in a process kua'..their relationship. While sarah..she said..a malay guy is courting her..n she has feelings for him too..guess she's in process too..coming soon in a relationship. Ahh.. Vkie..she lurves her bf so much...she's happie with her relationship. thts great! glad to hear that...wahh im happie la...all my frens have bf already.. congrats to them!! so happie la.. hehe.. nway,all the best in their relationship..longlasting for eternity ya!! n to mine..2getha4eva,my hubby!! muakssSsSs!!~
Err..watelse?? hmm.. yea..my mid term exam over already.. my english paper is easy..but there's not enough time..so left a few question i didn't complete it. while my 'introduction to graphic design' paper..is err.. ok la..not so tough la. well..,hope i can score..n d marks could help my final..end of next month.
hmm.. i'm tired now.. i wana go to bed already..i can hear my dreamland is calling me now.. goodnitez!! missing syahreez..he's in Johore..balik kampung for his cousin's wedding..

=n=

sWeEt MeMoRiEs~

today... it was my big day... i'm finally 18 years old!! woohooo!!!~~
goshh.. almost the whole day i went out today..
hmmm.. lets start... Firstly.. i went to syahreez's house around 9am.. accompany him to library.. but end up..its all occupied.. so later..,went to have breakfast..eat tosai at bk.beruang.. After that.. went back to his house..chilling.. then later went to his mummy's fren taska.. then went to motor shop.. n went to the jabatan pendaftaran..to make syahreez identity card.. Later..,went back his house again.. n chilling.. hehe..
so after that...
around 9pm.. syahreez came to pick me.. when he arrived my house..he came out personally n waited for me at the gate.. n he blind fold my eyes.. he gonna gimme a surprise.. So he lead me to his car.. n drove all the way.. to 'Paradise Corner',klebang. (goshh..my eyes was blind fold..n all the journey to the place..i feel like im in no where.. haha) Later..,when arrived the place..he unblind it.. Gosh.. i was totally surprised.. really unexpected.. After that,we sat down n ordered d food..my hubby ate oriental chick chop n drank orange juice while i ate marryland chick chop n drank stawberry + banana milkshake. Firstly, syahreez gave me a card.. i open n read it.. gosshh the contain of d message was so touching..feel like crying. Secondly,he gave me flowers... it was so nice!! unique..!! Ohh yea..before that he gave me a candle..Russ candle.. He lit up the candle.. gosh.. so romantic..!! tht time.. i feel like kissing him in public..love him so much.. He even bought a cake..an orange cake!! yummy!!! so orangey..nice!! n lit up the candle on the cake n i make a wish on that.. =). So..at the end of our dinner.. syahreez asked me to close my eyes.. n even asked me to close my eyes tightly.. then later..,he asked me to open my eyes.. Guess Wat??! it was a white gold necklace.. its from syahreez n his mum.. goshh.. Syahreez wore for me the necklace.. *hehe*.. i love d necklace.. it looks glamarous on me.. ekeke.. seems like feminine ehh.. Well..thats all for now.. =the end=
interesting anot?? dun jealous ,k... Gosh.. so romantic lehh.. its an unforgetable memories.. i'm lovin it.. i'll alwis remembered it..till the day i die. "syahreez.. 2getha4eva!! " love u for eternity!!! thanks for everythg..especially this night dinner outing. feel like crying..touching leh.. unexpected.. haha.. nway..really thanks!!! unbelieveable... wooohoooooooooooo!!!~~~~ sweet memoriess...!

HUBBY... I Love Ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! muakkksssssssssssssssssssss!!!!=)

never be replaced

its been so long i didn't update my blog.. aint got thg to write about.. So now..just wana fill my time writting.. hehe..
hmm... i got 2 weeks holiday 28th Oct till 13th Nov.. woohooo!! syioknya!! but..sad to say.. after my holiday..i got mid term exam.. goshh its around da corner!!! i havent prepare for that! sitting for english paper & Introduction to graphic design paper!! duhhH! Hmm.. my 3rd semester starts next year..err middle january or february.. when enter 3rd sem..,i must really be hardworking in my studies..cannot play play nor skip class already. I wana achieve my dream.. After my 2 1/2yrs diploma..thot of continue my studies in MMU cyberjaya..wana go for degree.. Hopefully i can do it!! but firstly,i must do well in my Diploma..!!

mmm.. 6 days to go.. then its 'hari raya'.. Well, 'Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri'..especially to syahreez & family.. Wishing u a prosperous hari raya throughout the year!! =) May god bless u & ur family..'health & wealth..studies'!!
OoohhH.. by the way, syahreez... Congrats!! coz' err.. ur cheque.. 4-digits..& u r a manager..*clap clap* huggies* u had succeed!! i'll always pray for u (bness & studies) pray for ur upcoming every month cheque will always be 4 digits. If possible..5 digits. *huhuu* Have faith in urself!! u can do it!! i'll always n always be by ur side supporting you!! although sumtimes im not by ur side.. but i'm alwis remain in ur heart forever!! bear that in mind!

mm.. syahreez.. i wana apologise..for that day incident..for being not really understanding..n negative thinking.. I'm sorry... i know u r moody.. & i shouldn't take it seriously n think negatively.. Really sorry.. I'll change myself.. give me some time. i'll be the perfect one for you!! although there's ntg perfect in this world.. i'll still be the one!! i wont change u for wat u r..
I'll bear in mind..'positive mind & have faith in each other'!! Sorry ya for being really a bad gurl..didnt mean to make u mad.. n annoyed u.. Do forgive me.. Honestly,im afraid of losing you.. thats y sumtimes im acting tht type. but dun worry.. i'll change.. really! trust me! give me some time.. Everyone makes mistake.
*2getha4eva hubby!!* ' have faith in each other'
Love u so much!! muaksssssSSssss!!!~

sighh*

nowadays my bf is a busy boy.. can say..the whole day he's busy.. preparing food...selling food....do business. this might last for a month.. coz' he's selling food during Ramadhan.. haiiz.. really miss him.. miss him much. hope he miss me too..just the way we feel.. missin' each other.
so long nvr spend time 2getha.. n so long nvr see him.. Missin' all those moments.. sighh. '2getha4eva',sweetheart!


birthday is comin soon.. getting nearer.. don't have any plan.. Leen asked me whether did i plan anythg on my birthday?.. such as celebrate..go out makan. i don't think so.. Birthday? this year birthday.. seems like just a normal day for me.. i don't feel anythg. aint a clue.. surely a quiet occasion for me.. ntg much.
i'm broke now.. i haven't buy present for kee.. jaime's n foo's birthday 2 weeks to go.. i ain't got cash to get sumthg for them.. might be givin them present next month..
hmm..Jaime going back to KL on the 24th october.. by that time.. surely seldom get to see her & seldom hang out.. she gonna fly.. fly around malaysia.. After 2yrs..then fly around the world.. sigghh..will be missin' her..my old bud!

goshhh..

Last night..was a terrible night. While i was at durian daun with syahreez,my sis n bro called me. they asked me to go back home. got some problem.. coz' my dad create trouble. UrgghHH!! why?? why must he did that? this was not the first time..its the 3rd or 4th times already.. hmmp.. couldnt bear it la.. his attitude.. makin' me sick of it. haiiz.. my familyz is suffering from him.. sighh..pity.
So, i asked syahreez to fetch me back home & wait for me at the junction.. coz' i don't want anythg happen to him.. Hmm.. while i was walking towards my house.. i saw my mum & sibblings at the balcony.. they asked me to 'go away'..means.. dun come back 1st..,scared my dad might beat me.
So,i entered reez's car while we both keepin' an eye. later on two poilcemen arrived my house.. hmm.. my mum's..da man..phoned me,asked me to fetch him go ujong pasir to take the 'police report',coz my mum need it..its important..So i asked reez to fetch us there.. haiiz.. feel so bad la..he drove up & down just for me.. Thanks very much dear!!
later on, after i gave my mum the police report letter.. Me & reez went to Kota Laksamana ate the ice ice thgy* & went to Cyber Cafe.
After that..i asked reez to pass by my house,to check..whether got anythg happen anot.. He also drove me to my aunt's house to take my clothes.. Moreover,i'm staying over his house. He & his mum had provided me with great comfy hospitality. Thanks alotz!!

Most of all..i really appreciated reez's helps.. He had lend a hand to me. Million of thanks,dear!! without u.. i'm helpless.. haiiz..feel so bad.. he drove up & down just for me..& gonna out of petrol too.. *thanks alotz dear* thanks for being there for me!! I love u so much for eternity!! TRULY!!

Dear,u really has brighten up my day.. Although i have problem..,but being with u..there's no sadness..problems. My life seems to be cheerful everyday!! My dear,thanks!! 2getha4eva!! MuakkssssSSSSsss!!!~~~~~~

*Love u much hubby*

Hye blog!! so long nvr update my blog dy.. Guess where am i?? Cyber Cafe!!! hehe..sumwhere nearby my house.
I'm with jaime & kee now.. haha nothing to do.. so went to cc lo. Just now me, jaime n kee went to 'More cafe'..went to have a drink.. its kee's treat.. coz tmr is her burpday!! Burpday gurl!! Happie 18th burpday Kee!!! Goshh... can't wait for my burpday..a month to go!! huhuu.. yeepiee!! woohooo..!!~ hmm.. quite bloated rite now.. just now drank sour sop smoothies.. a lil' milky taste!! (reminds me of my hubby..he lurves milky drink).. eat french fries.. fried yam cake.. & crispy fried otak.. fuuhh.. kenyang lehh!! gonna put on weight dy..aiyor. Ohh yea,kee said..one day she will treat syahreez eat..

Hmm.. syahreez's got his exam this friday.. account... last paper.. means end of his final!! merdeka for him!! hehee..then his sem break started.. woohoo!! Wish him best of luck in his last paper!! Do well,dear!! mm.. syahreez's business is getting better..increasing.. he's making money.. just can't stop makin money!! woohoo!! hehehe.. Glad for him!! but don't forget me.. (i noe he won't) Aite!! hehe.. love him so much!! missing him!!*

BLANKO!

Dear blog..,i'm not in a mood again... in a sudden,i feel so sad.. haiiz.. lonely..so lonely..i've nobody..
Moreover,i'm sick now.. i didn't tell anyone nor take medicine.. my face is so red.. suffering.. life's so complicated.. haiiz.. haiiz.. haiiz... haiiz.. aint a clue wat to write.. my mind is ..blanko~
huhh... me now wearing specs.. Err.. i'm so tired.. just can't wait for my sem break.. really looking forward to it. haiiz.. wish i'm not living in this world.. told myself to be strong..i just can't do it.

-n-

waiting for the sun to rise...

Urghh... i'm sick!!! my right eye red in colour..swollen. plus,i had a flu.. huhh.. not in a mood..
gosh.. just now after my class.. while i was riding scooter on my way home.. i almost crash into a car!! that damn car larr.. suddenly stop.. goshh...thank god i noticed & quickly press my break. phewW!!
hmmm...i love this song..so meaningful..'never be replaced' by first lady.. 'baby i love you..i'll never let you go.. all the love we make can never be erased & i promised you that you'll never be replaced..i love u...bla bla bla. hehe that song is dedicated to my teddy!!

Miss your original daily personalities...

-hope to see you smiling again..

-your laughter..

- the happy-go-lucky ones..

-always crack up jokes..

-makes people around you happy..

- not easily get frustrated/angry..

-seldom raise your voice..

Really miss it!!! Sad..,being see you stress & tension.. really pity you.

By the way, Hubby... ALL THE BEST in ya final!! you can do it!! i'll pray for you,aite!!

Little vOices..

Ey there!! Guess what??! darleen got boyfriend already!!! 'hey gurl,CONGRATS!!' just now i chat with her.. she told me about that. i was so surprised.. feel so happie for her! Finally she has a bf..& goes on those dates thingy.. hehe. great job leen!! wish u luck in ya relationship, aite!!
Oo yea, dannii is coming back on the 1st October..,she confirm quiting her job,she can't take it.. She planned to go TARCollege..taking Mass communication course.. might be enrol this december intake. hmm 4th Oct is her b'day..coming soon. gosh..,i'm gonna out of money.. Urgh,October.. tsk tsk tsk..*shake head* 3 of my frens b'day.. dannii.. siew chin.. & jaime.. i'm broke arrg!(ahemm..eeheee.. a month to go...)* muahaha..
haiiz... missing someone right now.. i've never see him for quite sometime already..miss him much.. He's very busy with his studies & bness.. *praying hard for his success* pray for his final.. pray for his bness as well !! u can do it!! As u say,nothing is impossible.

There's a proverb for u ---> "Rome was not built in a day"
Err..nothing much to talk.. wana take my bath now.. later wana do assignment. waa..this friday i got intro in graphic design quiz!!~

*still missing someone*

Movin' on

Actually today was a really bored day.. there's no outing..so dead bored.. So,i message siok hua.. ajak her go jusco..
we went there at around 9sumthg pm..went to bought leen's bday present..
After that..,we went to durian daun mamak.. went to have our supper..a lil hungry mah..
While was waiting for leen to meet us.. i saw syahreez enter d mamak area..& park his car.. fuhh..i feel so happie when i saw him! but he didn't realise us.. I guess when he realise us was when leen walk heading to me n siok hua.. i asked leen to come over..coz' wana give her bday present.. then syahreez saw kot. haha.. after that he came over & sat with us..chit chating.. Hmm..actually i was quite down today.. but when i saw him.. i feel so.. fuuhh.. can't describe.. so happie! Syahreez said i purposely came to durian daun.. but actually is true.. i really wanted to see syahreez.. if syahreez didn't notice me..i dun mind..As long as i saw him..i feel so relieved & happie.. i really love him.. miss him alots!! so long never hang out & chit chat on d fon already. haiiz..
Ohh yea..just now saw syahreez had alotz money around rm400 kot..he got his this month money..his bness money. wahh.. i guess he's very happie with it.. I'm happie for him too.. i really pray hard for him.. & at last he succeed.. feel so glad!
Hmm.. syahreez final exam is soon.. very soon.. wish him best of luck!! i'll pray for u! study hard & smart!! by the way...,i'm looking forward for ur sem break.. hopefully we can hang out.. hehe..

A walk to remember

hey.. just now went out with my frens.. went to crystal bay..eat ikan bakar..nearby teluk mas.. celebrate darleen's birthday.. tomorrow there's no outing for us...coz' leen celebrating birthday with her mum..she has the same bday as her mum.. Like mother like daughter. hmm.. tmr..i'm gonna be dead bored..
Around 10somethg pm i message syahreez..,he had a headache..but he has to go on deal with his bness thgy.. pity him. Nowadays he's quite busy.. we even never chit chat on the phone already..Miss him so much! Wish that i could turn back the past.. when we first met.. the dates'.. spend time together. All those memories are still so fresh in my mind..so clear..i can remember it completely. hmm..Its different now.. i've to understand him.. & i really did understand him! actually i'm afraid of sumthg.. coz now he's very busy with his bness & studies...i'm afraid he want to break up with me..honestly. I've faith in us.. but i really scared.. if that happens.. i can't take it.. who knows..i might commite suicide..no jokes dude! i'm really scared.. nowadays syahreez seldom phone me.. & if we chit chat on d phone..before hang up d phone..he didn't say love u..& muaks.. thats even makes me think negatively.. i'm scared..seriously.. i even cried afew times. blog,i'm afraid..i'm scared.. Blog,i really love him so much! this is the first time..of me myself loving a guy.. even love him so deeply. haiiz.. how?? i can't ease myself. I dare not tell syahreez about this.. if not ..i scared he angry n say i dun understand him. but i really did understand him,truly!! If possible.. i wana help him a lil in his bness thgy..i feel helpless..helpless girl... i tried my very best dy.
i feel so down.. miss him so much!!
*missing syahreez*

In tHe sHadOw..

this morning i woke up around 8sumthg in the morning.. early rite? hehe.. i cook japanese food.. was rushing to make it.. coz' around 10 sumthg darleen coming to pick me.. we went to school for a visit.. back to old days skool..~ there are alotz of changes in school.. such as,the building was painted..nice colour!! i feel odd when i enter school.. err..not a clue. Miss my school life so freakin' much.. most of the memories were from there... Where all begins.. friendship.. Hmm.. went to school.. me,darleen & jaime.. 3 of us only.. We plan to have our lunch in da' school canteen..yum!! yum!! but too bad.. most of the food was sold out!~ sad case.. So after that..,we went to meet some of our ex-teachers.. pn.chin..econs, mr.ngim..add maths, pn.maslimun..BM, pn.kong..our most favourite english teacher! haha.. she still remember me!! can't believe! she called me 'sandra bullock'.. muahaha.. Haiiz.. i feel so pity for pn.lee hui ying..she got uterus cancer..2nd stage dy..she's our ex-geografi teacher f3. teacher,hope u get well soon..& as fit as a fiddle!
nothing much going on today.. went to class.. fuhh.. kinda tired & bored..i'm frozen in the class..so freakin' cold! seems like in north pole. urghh..sick of riding scoot.. coz' the weather is so hot hot hot!! i've turn dark..alotz!! no jokes.. sad case ler.. i've no choice..thats the one & only transportation.. mm..tmr i got class.. *tired*.. i'm looking forward for my break.. can't wait.. but don't know when.

ohh yea.. jz now my mum told me that.. this saturday she have to go to the lawyer office..to sign the contract? agreement? with the buyer of my house.. means that..yay!! confirm that my house sold out!! sooner my mum will get the house money..but in a moment will get 5% only. then my mum told me that..she wana find out the air ticket price for going 'HongKong' disneyland.. she planned to bring me n my sibblings to 'disneyland' this coming early november..might be some of my relatives joining.. i'm not really that happy if confirm go 'disneyland'..coz' it falls on november.. somewhere my bday!! i wana celebrate my bday with someone special..!! Err,i think d 'disneyland' tour..surely tak jadi.. sure cakap-cakap angin only..coz' last few years back,my mum said wana bring me & sibblings to Australia..but end up..no. Hmm.. Although my house sold out dy..,my mum calculate..that the amount of money is not enough..coz' owed alotz banks..loan..mortgage.. which means that my family will still have financial problem although d hse sold & get d money..its not enough. haiiz.. i feel so down everyday.. looks happy..but deep in my heart isn't.

boo.. boo..~

Went to mp with syahreez just now...hehe.. we both bought a bag.. a sling bag.. its quite reasonable.. 2 bags for rm30..!! kewl!! plus,its branded leh! hmm.. after buying.. we went to starbucks.. went to have a drink.. syahreez drank ice blended caramel while me..ice blended green tea!! fuyooh.. syioknya!! dun jealous tau!! haha.. hmm..its syahreez treat.
Guess what?? last night he told me about his b'ness thgy.. his b'ness thgy his getting better & better.. improving.. & he might be getting his cheque nx month.. so proud of him!! hehe.. he must be waiting for this moment... "Well done hubby!! great job!! big hug for ya' *HUG* "

hmm.. & to jaime.. "CONGRATULATION for ya' graduation in MAS today!!" sorry'ya,i can't attend.. hope u understand..i've class. I know u offer me a lift to follow u last sunday.. but i can't..,coz monday..class. i can't skip my class.. not good..u know.
err.. this saturday is darleen's b'day.. not a clue to get what for her.. 'craking my head'.. she's a lil cerewet?? i guess.. choosy. she's so rich.. seems like..she has everything. hmm.. heard from vickie that.. nowadays alotz of guys are 'after her' (darleen)... get wat i mean?? court her.. fuyooh..!!!~ Jaime... haiiz.. she's so love sick.. in lim quoak wei?? haiiz.. she's so into him.. sometimes she purposely drive pass by his house & his dad's shop.. PHEW!!~ haha.. this is girls personality.. its normal la.. hmm..when i hang out with her..she surely tell me about da' guy.. haha shhhHH!! but actually i'm also one of her.. sometimes i tell my fren that my bf..so good.. n etc. haha.. i used to compliments about my bf ..to my frens. Siok hua too! hmm.. girls who are in love.. have weird personality.. i wonder why?? Blog,do u agree?? hahaha..

=)

BoO!!!~ hehe...
hmm.. i just came back from mp,*dating*? with syahreez.. hehe.. Actually last night i was mad at him..,(come on sandra..,its just a tiny problem) coz' he some sort 'fly my kite'..but its ok la.. he apologised to me n explain it.. i forgive..i didn't mad at him already..i've to understand his situation.
hmm.. Although we spend time for a short moment.. but its enough for me..i'm satisfied.. He had played his role..*clap clap* (thanx!!) MuakssSSS!!! =)

fuhh..tomorrow onwards.. i can't skip my class.. i must really attend.. cannot be lazy pig.. *zZzZzZz* .. God had help me ways to gave me proper education..& my loan approved! so i must study hard.. hmm.. some of my subjects..have test..exam.. in subjective form..*waa scary* haiiz.. i'm very free.. i wana study..read some books.. but d books haven't out yet.. so wat can i do?? sheesh..daily routine.. back frm class.. then watch tv & zZzZzZz.. hahaha.. 'L' = lame!!

Omg!! this afternoon my nanny's daughter phoned me..she asked about my studies.. phew.. but my nanny never ask from me the $350 that i owe.. last time my nanny told me that..,d $350..anytime can return to her..no hurry. My mum promised me to help me pay her back d $350.. but haven't..coz' just now i asked from my mum..,she said..not now..she doesn't have enough money..& financial is quite tight.. huhh.. aiya.,i need to ask from my mum $100 for my monthly college fee..haven't pay yet.

*miss & love syahreez*

saturday

hmm.. lets see...
today i went to mp.. with jaime n vickie.. jaime fetch us there.. went to search for darleen's b'day present.. but end up.. with empty handed.. but haha.. i bought a 'purse'.. Wah at last i got a 'purse'.. really girlish purse..it cost rm40.. fuh.. thats my allowance!! now i left a lil sum of money already. later on.. i went to syahreez's house.. brought him 'famous amos' cookies n bread.. hehe.. After that..,around 7sumthg.. me ,jaime, vickie went to GYM.. get some exercise.. burn our fats.. When we arrived there.. Let's get it started baby.. Guess wat?? the gym closed at 8pm.. & we arrived there around 7.40pm.. fuhh..so,we didn't go for it. End up we went to have our dinner at a food court.. haha.. today i ate claypot rice!! fuh..so long nvr eat a bowl food. later.. me n jaime went to vickie's house.. chillin' at there.. till around 11pm then balik~

hmm.. wonder what is syahreez doing now?? surely..after the function already.. & now.. surely go yam cha with his b'ness frens & prospects.. i miss him so much ler.. i don't know why.. although i saw him dy. must be we so long never spend time together.. really miss the moments.. i miss him laaa... miss him like crazy..
Aiks??!!! he just phone me!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha.. he coming to fetch me.. go out makan.. yay!! miss the moments!! ~
urghh!! actually.. never go out... duhh!! make me syiok only. forget it la.

hubby!!! muax!!~

Hubby

i miss u so much!! miss u!! miss u!! miss u!!

i love u so much!!

really wanna see you...

miss hanging out with you..

i love u!!!!

*i just can't stop thinking & missing you*

muaksssssssssss!!!!!~

Hubby,u must achieve ur goals & strive hard for ya study & b'ness,aite!!

i'll alwis & alwis pray hard for u & even support u,alwis!!!

Muakssss!!!

*feeling blue*

hmm...my pc monitor repaired dy.. n now i'm using it. i just came back from syahreez house.. he went to bk.beruang to find his prospect..

Blog.., i don't know what happen to me... everyday..i'm moody... must be my p.m.s kot.. haiiz.. ain't in a mood lerr.. black sheep gurl. fuuh!

errm.. that monday..,syahreez told me that.. he had to concentrate in his study n his b'ness as well.. so he need to 'put me aside'.. numsayin'?? 'put me aside'... he said.. he 'have' to.. he doesn't want to loss both of it.. means his study & b'ness.. he wana make his mum proud. haiz.. at first when i heard the sentence 'put me aside'.. it seems like 'break'.. so actually..i misunderstood.. haizz.. i cried leh.. i really did understand.. n i did 'more understand' it deeply.. wat can i say?? hmm..the day after he told me.., n here it goes.. (the daily routine) tapau mee curry n bring it to his house during his break.. after that,went to class.. n didn't meet him dy.. but he'll gimme a call every late night when he's free dy..this goes on for weekdays.. i didn't msg nor give him a call,coz i don't wana disturb him.. hmm..i guess on weekends we not gonna meet,coz' he got b'ness function on saturday while sunday surely meet his prospects.., the whole week is occupied.. i don't blame syahreez.., but hope he understand as well.......
Tremendously,i don't hope for more.. nor greed for it. just praying hard that he success in his study n b'ness..,& i wont be put aside. hmm.. his semester break is nx month..i guess. break for a month.. might be hoping that..he could spare a lil... during his sem break.. get it??

hubby..,if u're reading.. just wanted to tell u that.. i really understand.. & i trust u!

*praying hard for u*

ohh yea..

<-------- this pic was taken during merdeka eve..

me & syahreez at 'sri percik restaurant'

( looking great ) haha..

Ohh.. my~

hye!! i'm back!!! haha.. hmm.. me at cc now with my hubby syahreez!!!!~ hehehe.. just now went to Kota laksamana eat da ice ice thgy.. this baba.. hmmp! hehe..

hmm.. last saturday..,around 1 sumthg am.. me was on da phone with syahreez.. he just came back yam cha with his business frens at durian daun.. he's quite frustrated with his frens.. i mean business thgy frens la. haiiz.. n his up-line too!! most of them thinks that he never really work hard on his business thgy... haiiz.. but actually he did!! i know! coz' almost everyday he went to find his prospects!!~ its not easy leh.. he have to run up & down.. & persuade his prospects.. haiiz.. tiring~ Moreover..,his b'ness frens.. keep bugging him! keep err.. some sort like pushing him..push till no limit! damn!! Urggh.. they should understand mahh.. haiiz.. then syahreez got a lil arguement with his b'ness frens kot.. haiiz... when i heard he express his problem.. plus he's not feeling well.. i feel so sad.. heart hurts ler.. no jokes la dude!! nevermind la dear..,miracle happens.. & your day will soon arrive... it takes time... remember..have faith in yourself!!~ i'll pray for ya'!

mOOdy

Hubby dear...,wish u were by my side with me now.. i'm very sad.. very moody.. Honestly,am i fat as a PIG?? actually i mind on what do people says. Haiiz... i don't feel like eating for my whole life.. till i die..~ i'm so sad.. feel like crying.... actually..my tears flows a lil.. haiiz.. i'm fat! just that whenever i ask people or my friends.. they surely answered me..."nola.. where got... u looks medium size.. just a lil plum/meaty.. "haiiz.. i know they're consoling me.. its ok.. i can take it. haiiz.. i'm gonna proof it!! i must diet till i sucess...~ hate people who criticise nor humiliate me..~ ladies really care for their pride & dignity...~ i do care!! haiiz.. hubby,hope u were here with me.. consoling me... hmmm..

tHe FaCts

hmm.. yesterday,got people come my house to have a look... cause my house is on sale~ Guess what??! my mum told me that d people bought it... rm 360k. confirm!! d people gonna give deposit rm5k by this saturday. hmmm.. my mum told me that we have 6months to leave.. means.. errm.. by 6months times...me n my family gonna shift out.. hmm..as my mum says.. may be me n my family might shift to Puchong in Kl or might be still staying in malacca.. my mum wana open a shop.. do some business thgy.. ermm selling those food thgy kot.. haiiz.. if really shift to puchong arr.. i really gonna miss my hubby freakin' much!! so much!!~

huh... just now i open my friendster... that idiotic guy reply my message.. the way he replied..in a mean way..!! hate him so much!! really!! haiiz.. dun wana care n think about this stOOpid thgy.. its a waste of time!!
hmmp!!

just wana care about my thgy n my hubby! haha.. muakssSSSS!!! =)

FrOwn Smile..

Hye!!
Dear blog...,i'm a lil down.. Just now after my class..,i went home to put some of my thgy..,then i straight went to buy 'mee kari' for my hubby..but too bad..the mamak stall close. After that,i went to Ujong pasir pasar malam..,went to tapau 'kebab daging'..,but the stall havent ready for the food thgy..so end up i bought 'wade'. Later i went to my hubby house..hang out.. Hmm.. i told my hubby every single thgy about d idiotic zack..that wat d zack talked. Haiiz.. in a sudden..my hubby's mood change?? he seems unhappy...some sort..never really talk to me.. he acting cool.. (thats wat my intuition said) haiiz.. i feel so sad.. a frown smile in my heart..but i never really show it out.. Then..,my hubby played guitar..he played afew sad songs..i guess. that makes my tears gonna flow..but i bear it.. i'm an emotional person..thats why my tears flow very fast.. Blog..,i'm sad.. i don't like that situation... *TOOT* that zack lar!! fuckin' zack! really make me mad.. b'coz of him.. me n my hubby had conflict!! URrrgghhH!! sad laa...
hmm.. but after that.. my hubby mood changed dy.. he talked to me.. & he didn't seems unhappy..i guess. Later on..,my hubby went KL..for his business thgy... Wish him all the best!! i'll pray hard for him!! i'll support him..~ Really hope that his business thgy rises & earn alot of dead president..so that can help his mummy..lesser his mummy's burden.
Blog...,wish u could understand...
well...,i really love my hubby!! love him for eternity!!

tales~

here it goes...~

last few days ago..,my mum told me that her bf of whatever.. will give her rm60k.. the rm60k is from the bf insurans..withdraw it out.. hmm.. may be around nx month will get the rm60k.. thats what my mum says... haiiz.. she told me that.. if really got the amount of cash.. she n him.. will open a shop at PUCHONG.. hmm.. might be open a shop la.. selling those food thgy ..ermm may be ice ice food thg ( ex. ice kacang ) or selling those bread n cakes food.. since she's very expert in those thgy.. hmm. then my mum says that.. if really success open a shop... then me n my sibblings will shift to puchong..stay there.. haiiz... i never tell anyone about this..even my friends.. till this thgy really confirm n happen.. then i'll reveal it..
wahh... if really happens arr.. i'll surely miss all my friends especially my teddy laaa... unbelieveable heh!! a sudden lehh..
haiiz..i think i should put this thgy from my mind temperary till it really happens... then i'll think about it again..~ fuuhhhh...

haha~

hmm.. i'm at cyber cafe now..sumwhere nearby my house.. at semabok.. Hehe... today i went out with my teddy!!!~~~~~~~ so long nvr hang out with him & see him already.. gOSh~~ haha.. very happieeEE... we went Mahkota Parade.. went to drink roibo.. he drank stawberry & me..yam milk tea... with pearl!!! syOknya!! we went jalan-jalan around Mp lo.. haha.. i thought today i might not see him.. cause this morning i phone him...to wake him up.. had phone alotz times..but never answer... so i sms my teddy.. tht we hang out someday ..coz he's sleeping..n must be tired.. thts why i must considerate n understand.. hmm.. then not long later.. around 2 something he msg..n asked me whether wana hang out.. haha n there it begins...~ he came to fetch me.. haha muakssSS!!~ miss him laa.. soo happie.. but thats not enough laa.. wanted to spend time longer... but its ok la.. haha =) =) =) hehehe.. bluekk!!

hmm.. i just view my friendster.. & guess wat?? the guy ZACK who is my classmates...send me a msg thru friendster.. guess wat?? he apologised to me alotz times in tht msg.. he said tht he didn't meant to disturb me n telling about his gf n his thgy... & he said tht he don't have the intention to court me... plus..he know i hate him so much.. i wonder how he know that.. must be he view my multiply..thru friendster.. coz i did wrote very 'mean' about him (zack) in my multiply journal.. haha bluekk!! padan muka... yeerr i soo 'mean' ehh.. jahat laa me..~ feel so bad actually. hmm..
thats all for now.. me wana chaoz now..

Ups & dOwNs

Hye!! guess where am i?? hehe..i'm at my campus in my graphic computer lab..doing assignment while surf net.. shhHH..my lecturer doesn't know.. hhaha.. hm.. today was a very very nice weather..so cooling..coz this morning rains heavily..
hmm.. wonder what is my hubby syahreez doing?.. guess he's in class studying while chit chat with his frens kot. hmm.. nowadays..my hubby syahreez..he seems very stress n looks so frustratred.. haiiz.. coz of his business thingy..plus his up-line always presure him..i feel so pity for him.. my hearts really hurt.. Nowadays he gets angry very easily..n hot-tempered.. n sometimes i even get scolded by him.. thats make me down.. a frown smile on my face.. hmm.. but i understand..i don't blame him.. coz i know his situation..he has to run up n down to deal with his business thgy.. Do U know HOw tiring Was thaT?? if i were him..i surely give up already.. i feel helpless n hopeless.. coz cant help him.. but i'll try my best for him.. i'll always be by his side supporting n helping him.. if he had problem..,i'll sit beside him to listen it..although i'm not a good advisor or consoler.. but im a great listener & always lend a hand..thats why many of my frens always seek for me.. hmm.. my hubby problem is also mine too! so i cant let him bear the problem alone.. i know he surely can do well in his business thgy & even his studies too!.. he can do it!! i've faith in him!! truly! i'll alwis be there for him.. 2getha4va!! hubby dear..,as u said.. where there's a will,there's a way.. so dun give up in ur business thgy,aite!! i understand ur situation..i know its tough.. it just need time n patient.. this is life.. its POSSIBLE to success!

FaMilY PoTrAit..???!

here it goes.... i came from a rich family when i was born.. me n my family..always went to eat those expensive food..n every week surely go hotel eat buffet.. isn't tht great? but till year 2000.. my family started had financial problems... so hear cames those quarrels... nagging... etc. till now year 2005,is the worst year of my life! such a disaster.. this family ruined...?? i don't get a proper education compared to my friends.. Actually i had a study insurance in s'pore..n could only used it if i study in s'pore.. i had $10k..s'pore.. for education..,but end of last year.. my dad withdraw it.. and gambled it up.. Thanks to him..,now i got no money to further my education.. he even withdraw my bro's studies insurance too. great rite??! hmmp!! now my mum asked me to work.. she said ..i'm a lady.. no need to get high education... coz.. as a lady.. no matter how surely gonna marry n be a housewife.. haiiz.. but frm the point of view of mine..,thts wrong! this is a modern world... no matter u're a lady or man.. u should study.. n get a skill 1st.. then work.. now.. my dad didn't support the family dy.. guess wat? actually he have 3 wives included my mum.. mum was the 3rd. OMG! he got 4 children in s'pore.. all workin dy.. with high education n good salary.. their age around 30 plus dy. wat a big gap between me n my sibblings.
hmmm.. tell u a secret laa.. shhhHH.. its private n confidential.. no1 knows except me n sibblings. my mum got a bf lehh.. since when i'm in National service.. actually i don't know till when Chinese new year i wana come back home..,my mum told me. tht man.. promised to support my studies.. but he cakap besar!! hate lar!! if not i already going to taylor's college study dy.. "geramji" !!! but listen.. the conflict began between my parents its not connected with the man,k. haiiz.. i dare not tell any1 about this.. scared people look down on me.. i cant take it! now im getting weaker n weaker.. always got financial problem.. The man rite..,he gave me n my sibblings rm100 every month..our allowance. n every months he pay for my scooter installment rm260.. but this month i guess no.. ( guess he's broke ) n coz jz now my mum ask me whether how much is my salary.. she asked me to use my salary n pay the scooter installment.. huh??! hah??!! my july salary..is only around rm200plus.. n im gonna get it very late..,coz it comes by cheque.. i owe my nanny rm350.. i owe my college rm165..,i've to pay my college by this week.. n i havent.. i don't have money..my money only enough for my daily life..example.. eat. how am i gonna find that large amount??!! haiiz.. so sad.. my life's so miserable.. chaos!! i had gone through alotz rintangan even now.. tears always flow.. sometimes i tahan.. n i telan my saliva.. with great sadness inside.. heartache... hope god knows.... now.. praying hard to get my ptptn loan..,so i can get a proper education.. no jokes! actually,my work sometimes is kinda tiring..i admit tht.. feel like wana quit by this month.. but i bare it.. i need money.. so i plan to work another month or 2months.. hhuhh... now.. the only person who always brighten up my day..was my hubby syahreez.. although i didn't completely tell him much about my family problem..,its not that i don't want to tell.. its i don't know how to express..when i express..i surely gonna cry. ( the fact is.. scared people thinks differently on me.. ) hmm.. he's the one..my hubby.. who brighten up my day.. when i msg him or talk to him or hang out with him.. i feel so happy.. n seems like no problems sticking with me.. really glad he's always by my side. thanks! muakss u!

~ wOrriEd ~

haiyO... last night,my hubby really makes me worried. i have dinner at 8pm..its my great grand ma birthday. around 6.30pm,i phone my hubby and he didn't answer.. ( i phoned him because i wanted to wish him 'all the best' in his HD test ) no respond.. so, i thought he was still in class or may be his test had make it earlier.. but then i continued phoned him.. alotz of times.. and there's no respond.. i'm getting worried.. i thought something has happen.. or he might be sleeping.. if he's sleeping,i wanted to wake him up,i don't want him to late for his test.. then,i phoned and phoned and phoned... i even phoned his mummy,but no respond too. there's where i started to get nervous and worried to the limit. During my familyz dinner,i got no appetite.. i didn't eat much.. my mind was wondering around.. huh.. miserable.. so around 9.15pm i phoned him again.. phoned his hp..but didn't answer.. so i phoned his room,its engaged... then i phoned his house.. ~ring ring~ it connected... and guess what?! he answered.. ( i feel relieved a little ) 'he said he didn't go for his test.. OMG! ( zzZZzzZZz ) and he said he'll phone me back later.. so i waited and waited.. UrghhHH.. i'm gonna turn insane.. there's no news again!!! .. after my dinner..,i phoned him again.. haiiz.. no respond.. so i quickly grab my scooter and rush to his house.. when i enter his house.. he was using pc.. Huhh??!! so i walked away.. my tears began to flow.. he laa.. make me worried.. i'm so afraid of something happen.. haiyoo... thank god.. fuhh. muahahhaha..!!
so later..,we went CD mamak.. to have our supper.. ekeke.. =p

errm..to free,so ...write lo

hmmm... i just got back my pc today... at last...i've a lil entertainment!! if not arr..,i'm dead bored.. haha.. today, tomorrow and saturday i don't have work,OFF!! ehehe.. purposely took off on saturday..,so may be can go dating with hubby.. haha.. haiiz.. miss my hubby la.. he had a fever.. kinda pity him.. feel like wana go his house to accompany him... love him so much. hope he get well soon.. hmm..

haiiz....~

haiiz... i just came back dinner with my boy friend at ujong pasir mamak... quite bloated rite now.. hmm... he told me about his family financial problem... im quite pity for him.. really sad.. i really wanted to help him... i feel so helpless... he told me that.. if possible..,may be he wana work part time.. some sort like selling thgs...direct sales thgy. . he wana make his mummy's burden lesser.. haiiz.. i really wanted to help him out.. my hearts seems like uncomfy.. feel like crying out..
my family..also had a huge financial problem.. i'm a different person from last time.. especially last year started... i used to came from a rich familyz.. what i want..i sure can get it.. but for now.. its sometimes impossible.. my mum even don't encourage me to further my studies.. she said my studies are moderate.. so.. its a waste of time studying... she said..i should go look for job and learn a skill such as bakery thgy.. haiiz.. i'm not ready for the outside world...not ready with a SPM cert.. SPM cert is just not enough for me.. i wanted to further my studies.. i cried alotz coz of this problemz..unexpected.. i tell myself to be strong...not to do stoopid thgy..such as commite suicide.. last few months back..,i was so stress about this financial n study thgy..till i smoke..i smoked 4 cigarettes non-stop.. but i didn't addicted.. Actually last year.. my parents wanted to send me to singapore study... my dad had find a college for me to study accounting or designing.. but i refused to go...,coz the lifestyle n the education is very high.. i don't have confidence studying there.. plus,all my friends are in m'sia.. i don't want to study far apart from them.. Now..my familyz financial is even worst.. my dad and my mum had a BIG quarrel..,my dad didn't support the family already... haiiz..now left my mum supporting me n my sibblings n all the large sums of bills n loans.. i'm now working part time temperary..while waiting to enrol in my college.. i'm gonna work for a few months only.. haiiz.. really cant imagine my life had changed alotz.. just a sudden. some of my friends don't even believe i've financial problem..,coz they said.. i'm staying in a big big house...n mum's got nice car.. etc.