FaMilY PoTrAit..???!

here it goes.... i came from a rich family when i was born.. me n my family..always went to eat those expensive food..n every week surely go hotel eat buffet.. isn't tht great? but till year 2000.. my family started had financial problems... so hear cames those quarrels... nagging... etc. till now year 2005,is the worst year of my life! such a disaster.. this family ruined...?? i don't get a proper education compared to my friends.. Actually i had a study insurance in s'pore..n could only used it if i study in s'pore.. i had $10k..s'pore.. for education..,but end of last year.. my dad withdraw it.. and gambled it up.. Thanks to him..,now i got no money to further my education.. he even withdraw my bro's studies insurance too. great rite??! hmmp!! now my mum asked me to work.. she said ..i'm a lady.. no need to get high education... coz.. as a lady.. no matter how surely gonna marry n be a housewife.. haiiz.. but frm the point of view of mine..,thts wrong! this is a modern world... no matter u're a lady or man.. u should study.. n get a skill 1st.. then work.. now.. my dad didn't support the family dy.. guess wat? actually he have 3 wives included my mum.. mum was the 3rd. OMG! he got 4 children in s'pore.. all workin dy.. with high education n good salary.. their age around 30 plus dy. wat a big gap between me n my sibblings.
hmmm.. tell u a secret laa.. shhhHH.. its private n confidential.. no1 knows except me n sibblings. my mum got a bf lehh.. since when i'm in National service.. actually i don't know till when Chinese new year i wana come back home..,my mum told me. tht man.. promised to support my studies.. but he cakap besar!! hate lar!! if not i already going to taylor's college study dy.. "geramji" !!! but listen.. the conflict began between my parents its not connected with the man,k. haiiz.. i dare not tell any1 about this.. scared people look down on me.. i cant take it! now im getting weaker n weaker.. always got financial problem.. The man rite..,he gave me n my sibblings rm100 every month..our allowance. n every months he pay for my scooter installment rm260.. but this month i guess no.. ( guess he's broke ) n coz jz now my mum ask me whether how much is my salary.. she asked me to use my salary n pay the scooter installment.. huh??! hah??!! my july salary..is only around rm200plus.. n im gonna get it very late..,coz it comes by cheque.. i owe my nanny rm350.. i owe my college rm165..,i've to pay my college by this week.. n i havent.. i don't have money..my money only enough for my daily life..example.. eat. how am i gonna find that large amount??!! haiiz.. so sad.. my life's so miserable.. chaos!! i had gone through alotz rintangan even now.. tears always flow.. sometimes i tahan.. n i telan my saliva.. with great sadness inside.. heartache... hope god knows.... now.. praying hard to get my ptptn loan..,so i can get a proper education.. no jokes! actually,my work sometimes is kinda tiring..i admit tht.. feel like wana quit by this month.. but i bare it.. i need money.. so i plan to work another month or 2months.. hhuhh... now.. the only person who always brighten up my day..was my hubby syahreez.. although i didn't completely tell him much about my family problem..,its not that i don't want to tell.. its i don't know how to express..when i express..i surely gonna cry. ( the fact is.. scared people thinks differently on me.. ) hmm.. he's the one..my hubby.. who brighten up my day.. when i msg him or talk to him or hang out with him.. i feel so happy.. n seems like no problems sticking with me.. really glad he's always by my side. thanks! muakss u!

~ wOrriEd ~

haiyO... last night,my hubby really makes me worried. i have dinner at 8pm..its my great grand ma birthday. around 6.30pm,i phone my hubby and he didn't answer.. ( i phoned him because i wanted to wish him 'all the best' in his HD test ) no respond.. so, i thought he was still in class or may be his test had make it earlier.. but then i continued phoned him.. alotz of times.. and there's no respond.. i'm getting worried.. i thought something has happen.. or he might be sleeping.. if he's sleeping,i wanted to wake him up,i don't want him to late for his test.. then,i phoned and phoned and phoned... i even phoned his mummy,but no respond too. there's where i started to get nervous and worried to the limit. During my familyz dinner,i got no appetite.. i didn't eat much.. my mind was wondering around.. huh.. miserable.. so around 9.15pm i phoned him again.. phoned his hp..but didn't answer.. so i phoned his room,its engaged... then i phoned his house.. ~ring ring~ it connected... and guess what?! he answered.. ( i feel relieved a little ) 'he said he didn't go for his test.. OMG! ( zzZZzzZZz ) and he said he'll phone me back later.. so i waited and waited.. UrghhHH.. i'm gonna turn insane.. there's no news again!!! .. after my dinner..,i phoned him again.. haiiz.. no respond.. so i quickly grab my scooter and rush to his house.. when i enter his house.. he was using pc.. Huhh??!! so i walked away.. my tears began to flow.. he laa.. make me worried.. i'm so afraid of something happen.. haiyoo... thank god.. fuhh. muahahhaha..!!
so later..,we went CD mamak.. to have our supper.. ekeke.. =p

errm..to free,so ...write lo

hmmm... i just got back my pc today... at last...i've a lil entertainment!! if not arr..,i'm dead bored.. haha.. today, tomorrow and saturday i don't have work,OFF!! ehehe.. purposely took off on saturday..,so may be can go dating with hubby.. haha.. haiiz.. miss my hubby la.. he had a fever.. kinda pity him.. feel like wana go his house to accompany him... love him so much. hope he get well soon.. hmm..

haiiz....~

haiiz... i just came back dinner with my boy friend at ujong pasir mamak... quite bloated rite now.. hmm... he told me about his family financial problem... im quite pity for him.. really sad.. i really wanted to help him... i feel so helpless... he told me that.. if possible..,may be he wana work part time.. some sort like selling thgs...direct sales thgy. . he wana make his mummy's burden lesser.. haiiz.. i really wanted to help him out.. my hearts seems like uncomfy.. feel like crying out..
my family..also had a huge financial problem.. i'm a different person from last time.. especially last year started... i used to came from a rich familyz.. what i want..i sure can get it.. but for now.. its sometimes impossible.. my mum even don't encourage me to further my studies.. she said my studies are moderate.. so.. its a waste of time studying... she said..i should go look for job and learn a skill such as bakery thgy.. haiiz.. i'm not ready for the outside world...not ready with a SPM cert.. SPM cert is just not enough for me.. i wanted to further my studies.. i cried alotz coz of this problemz..unexpected.. i tell myself to be strong...not to do stoopid thgy..such as commite suicide.. last few months back..,i was so stress about this financial n study thgy..till i smoke..i smoked 4 cigarettes non-stop.. but i didn't addicted.. Actually last year.. my parents wanted to send me to singapore study... my dad had find a college for me to study accounting or designing.. but i refused to go...,coz the lifestyle n the education is very high.. i don't have confidence studying there.. plus,all my friends are in m'sia.. i don't want to study far apart from them.. Now..my familyz financial is even worst.. my dad and my mum had a BIG quarrel..,my dad didn't support the family already... haiiz..now left my mum supporting me n my sibblings n all the large sums of bills n loans.. i'm now working part time temperary..while waiting to enrol in my college.. i'm gonna work for a few months only.. haiiz.. really cant imagine my life had changed alotz.. just a sudden. some of my friends don't even believe i've financial problem..,coz they said.. i'm staying in a big big house...n mum's got nice car.. etc.