life

hey,i'm back.
its been so long i didn't update my blog.
Alot things happenned to me recently. i'm kinda trying to survive now. trying to get a new life.
i miss him.. Him refers to syahreez,my ex-bf. we broke up recently.
i never know this would happen. We've been together for 4 years and 4months plus. Time flew very fast yea.. Seems like whatever in our life.. we did together.. we went thru together.. ups and downs. its like he's connected in my life. its very difficult to let him go.
He's always in my mind.. keep playing. 24/7 without a miss, that he's in. i really miss him. i never regret meeting him. He brought alot changes in my life. he taught me alot. life's not easy without him.
i wish we'll be together again.. but well, i think thats not gonna happen.
i'm currently in singapore lookingfor job. planning to move on.. trying. still. it takes time. i'm still hurt and sad till today. i don't know what should i do. Always wanted to phone him.. but i kinda stopped myself. coz he has his own life now.. i can't keep bothering him.
i have put to much hope when i'm with him. i thought he'll be the one for me.. my future. my hubby. it seems like everything went perfect. but we can't predict. people changed.. things changed.. environment too.
i know.. everyone's not perfect. but i always tried to be the best for him.. i'm still trying till today even though we're over and i seldom hear from him already.
none understand how i felt. none. people keep advising me.. but try to put urself in my shoes. how will u feel? yeah,i'll recover.. but i duno when. it takes time. really not easy for me.
Whatever i do, whatever i saw.. reminds me alot of him and our relationship. even i saw a clothes hanger in sg in my room.. reminds me of him. coz he has the exactly same hanger. see... Takes time.. haih. sometimes i just wish that i just poooff in this world.
i really don't know what to do. i feel so sucky right now.
anyway, i hope he's doing fine and is happy with his life. quite sumtime i never hear from u.. always wondering.. 'wat r u doing now?' 'how r u?' 'hows thg?' and etc. i still do care for u.. still do in whtever thg. even if u need help.. i'll immediately be there for u. i'll. its a promise. i'll always support ur dreams..
Do take care Reez. i heart you wholeheartedly. i really don't want loss contact with u.. serious. even if in future we're not gonna be together.. but we still can be friends.. i mean it.
always wondering.. after the break up.. we kinda contact for sumtime.. then suddenly never contact for sumtime.. Do u still think of me? do u still care about me? do u miss me? just the way i did.. Do u? i didn't ask u to miss me or care about me.. but during these 4 yrs 4mths plus we been thru. i'm sure at least sumtimes u do feel that way rite? just like me. i dunoo.. I'm part of ur history.. sure sumtimes u will re-call or suddenly past memories comes to ur mind..
U know, thinking about how we met at d beggining and what we did.. its quite sweet. we're quite loving..
ahh.. no used of talking all these now.. its over.
i can only keep all these memories with me..