Its 1.30am now..Actually,i just came back from Scooter ride*.. sighh.. was just scolded by my bf several hours ago.. very sad.. I'm so not used to the environment of..boredom..lonely/isolated.. I wish that my mum is staying in Malacca.. Missing her so much!! if that happens..i won't bug anyone when i'm bored/isolated..coz' my mum is there.. Whenever my mum is there..i won't feel bored..coz' i can tag her along wherever she goes when im bored..Is not that me & my mum very close..is that..Duno how to explain.. err.. its like..when she going out..then i tag along..coz' i dont really like to be Close up at home..doing ntg.. meanwhile..i can take a stroll or car ride.. numsayin'..??
SANDRA..i'm a person who don't like to be scold..i'm soft in the inner but external..tough. that's why..i'm an emotional person..who pours the rains easily. Moreover,i'm a negative minded person..when something sad that happens to me..i always thought of commite suicide..& i tried to do it..but FAILED!! Am i weird?!
sighh.. i hate to have conflict with my bf..! thats the most sadness i'll have. WHY most sadness? coz he's the person that i love the most..he's my everything! whenever we have conflict..we never really contact each other for just sometime..but my finger ITCHY*..always grab the mobile..& half-hearted..whether to contact or not.. I know..end up..i contact. Feel like crying now.. Is there anyone who can lend a shoulder to me now..?? Reez..i really love you..lots! from the bottom of my heart!absolutely can't denied.. i don't mean to bug nor have conflict with you.. Do you know that,whenever we've conflict.. i cried. no lie. thats the tears of a girl who's so deeply in love..thats the truth! oh ya,i know you don't like me to be jiwang-jiwang.. but for this time..i really want to express my feelings.Yeap! ReEz..,sorry for keep repeating those mistakes..i know you are sick of that..Thanks for co-operate & bear with me.. I'm gonna make it sure for real..that..i won't & will never ever did that AGAIN! cross my heart ' swear to god ' down on my knees to you...
*To those readers & reez..if you read this post..guess you'll think i'm nuts & too JIWANG.. but what i wrote..was truly from my heart..suara hati*
tomorrow will be a New day...
3 comments:
omg sandra, when i first started to read this blog, i was laughing, but as i continue, my laughter breaks into saddness... I didnt know why, but i guess i can feel ur pain, through I have not experienced this before. But i can certainly feel there's a strong love within u and reez.
The saddest part of all, is u being distance with ur mom. And i'm truly understand how u feel. as u need someone to be there for u. hmm...
i'm not good in advice, i just repeated what u have said...
but commit suicide is definitely not a wise choice. U are doing sins by then, but not only to u, to everyone around u as they dont try to understand and help you.
think about it.
lotsa love, from vickie.
my dear friend,
why on earth would you ever think of commiting suicide?
your life isn't that bad. plus you wouldn't want to leave the people you love behind would you?
think of what other bad situations that could happen to you.
you don't owe any gangsters millions of dollars till you can't pay up and suicide is your last resort.
you still have friends around you! talk to them. if your boyfriend is busy. find a friend to talk to... there's always the ciaobellaz. don't forget.
and i'm there too! even though i'm far away. i somehow know what you're feeling. it hurts. i know.
feeling down? trying calling your friends to talk to them. i'm sure they can cheer you up.
you can talk to me too if you want that is. i'm available even though i'm far away. talk doesn't really mean talking physically, it can also be chatting or e-mailing.
i'm not sure this helps but i hope you know that i care!
take care and do remember that you have friends and family who care for you!
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